struggle we must
Sometimess, and I’m quite certain this isn’t an experience exclusive to me, I stop and wonder - why am I putting up with everything? Why don’t I give up and crumble already, or break down, or flip out?
I have that moment, then shortly after, the whole idea sorta fizzles out as I calm myself down a bit. Just another day, just another negative feeling - it will pass like any other. Honestly, though - it’s not good to let them all fall to the wayside. You know when you feel happy and joyful and certain about everything for a moment, despite the truth being (in blissful ignorance) far removed from that idea? Those thoughts and feelings are the same, just the other end of the spectrum. You wouldn’t toss them away, would you? You wouldn’t think - “ah, nah, that’s just not how things should be” - and forget about that joyous moment you had.
It feels right, and rightly so. We perceive those feelings as the “correct” ones and often seek to remove all others, 99% of the time without conscious choice in doing so. However, this can have some detrimental effects.
I know that many people try their best to have a happy time all the time. And we can’t blame them for that - we don’t have unlimited time on this planet, and we want our little slice to be worth living, or many other reasons. And hey, you are probably one of those people. But.. chances are, that’s not what’s happening.
You see, often times when we push out those negative feelings and experiences, we almost reset that experience for ourselves (in the short term). This doesn’t apply to unfortunate trauma or other more broad life events.
Imagine you are walking down a forest path. The light is shining barely through the thin but tall trees, somewhat leafy, and the ground is soft and damp. The grass hugs your boot as you walk, and the birds are doing what they do best. You continue to walk, but you trip and fall on your face (Ha). It hurts, and you brush off your nose and shirt. “Damn, that’s annoying,” you think to yourself - frustrated from this random negative experience. Then, as quickly as it comes, the emotional spike is gone, and you quickly refocus on what isn’t bad, but not what is good. You’re back in your fantasy, not really seeing what matters - but instead only experiencing what isn’t a negative moment. Despite you forgetting about the negative experience you had, your immediate handling of the issue made it feel unjust, made it feel like you live in a sea of random bad events, and life is about avoiding them.
I hope it makes sense. The topic is somewhat confusing. If you have questions, you can ask - though there’s more to tell.
You see, instead of cursing the root or stone that lead your foot astray into a mouthful of dirt, or wishing the world was not “out to get you”, you could have come to some terms that would make negative experiences like that much easier to conquer and understand.
Here you are, back on the path, and tripping again too. This time, you get up and pat yourself clean, thinking - “Shit happens.” Perhaps not those words specifically, but the idea that - yeah. These moments are part of life. And it takes a lot more energy to writhe for even a moment over them than it does to make that moment perhaps into something funny, or a way to improve. You take the subject away from “that sucks, that is bad” to “Oh, I didn’t see that rock there,” or “What’s a walk in the forest without a little excitement?”
Of course, these examples may not be what you would have thought. I might have, though.
Basically, instead of tying these experiences to emotions or good/bad, take them for what they are. Experiences. They mold you and you grow from them. They’re more than a plus or a minus to your life, they are quite complex and can help you more than you know.
I tire of seeing people I know writhe about their daily and moment to moment struggles without even an attempt to learn or grow from those experiences. They simply complain and say “Why me?” and move on. Again, and again.
Sorry, this one’s a bit longer. I had time, and I had the mind to share it. I hope you get something out of it.